My God

You are my God. I am intrigued and inspired by the very mention of your name. Your glory fills my eyes and bathes my soul in light. You are my God. I will praise you for what you have accom[plished through me. I will worship you, unashamed i will come before your mercy seat where you will accept me. You are my God. You see me for who i am and who i will be. When i am invisible to the world, you see me. Your accomplishments are great. Your love is power and might to the weak and weary. I will declare your name in the darkness and it will become light. You are my comforter, my Lord, my savior and judge. My life is yours to do your will. Amen Your will is perfect and holy, i will surrender to your perfect plan. I will proclaim you, I will worship you, I will praise your name. To you be all of me forever. You God, purchased me and i belong to you, i will be a joyful servant. I adore you, your face shines on me and i am glad in your presence. You are my God

Freedom

I am a child never knowing what it's like to run crippled from birth by satans lies, Jesus comes and heals me he gives me a new way to live, a new way to walk .My mind is opened to wonderful new possibilities ! I run with the wind in my hair looking up at the sky I say "watch me run daddy! watch me run!" Such freedom of thought and healing of soul only comes from my total surrender. I will surrender, because i have never known anything that could make me feel like Jesus does, he opens my heart and his mercy cuts to my very soul awakening it and asking it to run with him, be free.

Passion

That one word describes my life right now. My heart has never been so passionately in love with christ! He has shown me wonderous things and proved himself time and time again. My sinful heart kept doubting and pulling away from his love, never knowing how wonderful he was. I kept my eyes closed, I thought of worldly things when he spoke to my heart so i wouldnt have to try, i wouldnt have to commit to anything. I kept my feelings hidden from everyone, and especially those that had the most impaact on me. I could never cry, couldnt be weak. I wouldn ot listen, but he kept pushing he didnt give up on me. He never does. Now i can finally see, i am so sad at all the years i have missed out on being so lukewarm.
I was looking up to the sky today marveling at the beauty of the mountains and i started singing along to a worship song. I wanted so badly to be with god at that moment it almost hurt, i read his word and feel his love . I get a glimpse of his glory when i worship him, but to see his throne with jesus sitting at the right hand , to see my savior shining in his glory and the angels singing. ohhh to see that someday will be my greatest delight!
This world is not enough for me anymore. I have never felt such dissatisfaction with my world and yet been so full of joy. I am getting to where i would rather read my bible on my lunch breaks than eat. i have to make a concious effort to fall asleep at night instead of thinking of all the great things god has done and will do. I find that i dont want to talk about petty daily things anymore, I want to know that others have this same love and passion, i have. I have to share what god has done in my heart. Nothing else is worth talking about. I dont know if i will ever be satisfied until i get to heaven!

relativity

The theory of relativity is an especially interesting one to me. Everyday i come across this, when im working and there are no customers i am bored. what is boredom? i think its another theory something we make up as an excuse not to do anything. Time goes so slowly when you are bored, yet when you are doing the same thing with someone next to you that is making jokes it goes really fast in an enjoyable way. Why is this? is this because we are not imaginative enough to think of other things to do? is it because in our society we are constantly entertained and have no idea how to tap the potential of our minds? i say yes to these, because i am sad at how insanely stupid i can be sometimes. relativity is interesting. What is time how long are seconds, minutes hours? ask anyone doing something they dont like to do and miserable second after miserable second fell like hours. Does anyone find it funny that people hate their jobs and think say talking to strangers and having to be nice is insanely boring and pointless, but then on their way home from work they make the same type of conversation with a person in line at the supermarket? Why ? why must we be dissatisfied with things just because it is a stigma of disagreableness attached to anything pertaining to work? Why is everything relative?

12:32 am

Man, again i am not getting my beauty rest! I am up looking over my papers for school and liking what i see. As much as i may complain about school i really love doing the papers and pushing myself to my limit. Not much of a social life when you're stuck in front of a computer on your time off from a full time job, but i'll manage i guess. This is one class! I really dont know how people do this full time school full time job thing, i makes me crazy and really tired just thinking of having two classes instead of this one! Oh well up again late at night wondering if i want to go to bed or stay up on the computer do schoolwork? go to bed? watch tv? hmmmmm

Triumph!

I have completed the evil term paper of doom!!!!! This is my greatest accomplishment!(in the las week at least) I am soooo watching tv for the next two days staight!

Doubt

My doubt paralyzes me, leaves me bereft and confuses me. Which reality is real? Smooth words of this world tell me that i can justify anything and the God of my childhood is no more than a christian santa claus. Doubts fill my mind and blind my eyes until i am ready to believe this world and the deceiver, ready to throw away the laws i have tried so hard to live by, The grace i always felt, the love and peace of the other world.
Then he comes.
I see a light in my blindness, a light that does not come from this world i have been tempted to believe in. This light comes from within me telling of a great romance it comforts me. It makes me feel loved and cherished, fills me with peace. I have been chosen I am loved. He tells me of the real world where light abounds, This world is truth, light and fulfillment. Forgiveness and love dwell in this world. I will not believe the lies. I look to the light.